F**kin' Mat Rempits

Yo, this is the 1st post tat im having here and i would like to tok about one of our country's national icon--> Mat Rempit. Sincerely, i rly hate it when those malays amateur riding their Chipbalak EX5 , Kriss, or wateva goes on zig zag in the car crowds on highway like no tomorow, and then stop at the roadsides making disturbing noises (Gua punyer bike ni modified punya la, ada turbo or nos la wateva), smoking and talk about wat tricks they gona do later, or pretending making calls if one of them lost during the race (tadi mak panggil la, tak kira).

And here's some Rempit style that they are using during races:

The Superman style was create by lying down horizontally on the bike and speeding at 150kmh. Guinness world of records were amazed when they tested the results and found out the this method actually increased the speed by 20% and giving them +2 bonus when evading police roadblocks.

The Sailboat method was also a jaw-dropping skill where the rempit stands on the seat of the bike and control the bike via their feet. This method harness the wind's energy and thus lowers fuel consumption and saving enough money to buy drugs and cigarettes, giving them -25% fuel consumption, +10% money saving, +3 bonus when there is a strong wind. Another way is where the rempit does a willy where they will carry the front wheels and ride only on the back wheel. With less surface touching the ground, they manage to lower the friction, this is the most common method and can be found on the streets of Penang almost every midnight.
The Deadman method is usually found near traffic lights or under a lorry's wheel. Usually rempits will zig-zag in traffic and end up under a lorry or fly across a junction when the traffic light is red at the speeds of 120km/h and usually end up colliding with a solid object. This is another common method in rempiting especially among the newbies. However, there is one drawback. This skill is the ultimate skill where the user can only cast it once in their life. After casting it, no cards can be drawn and regrets are not accepted. Loser loses 40 lives and gains a +150% pain bonus and +3 bonus from instant death. If user has helmet, loser only loses 30 lives and gains only 120% pain bonus and +30% chance of succumbing into a coma.
The Spiderman method is where rempits ride the motorbike in pairs. The pillion rider stands at the back of the seat. The driver gains -20% fuel consumption because the pillion harnesses the energy from the wind. The pillion rider gets high and starts swinging his hand like a propeller and thus giving the motorbike a +50% speed boost for 8 seconds. During this time, there is a 20% chance that the pillion rider will fall off the bike and suffer broken bones. This is probably the best way to enjoy rempiting if you do not have driving license.

P.S: all informations are obtained from Uncyclopedia xD